The Rudest Gnomes in the Garden

Rude Garden Gnomes

Most garden gnomes are friendly. They love to help out in the garden, and always greet you with a friendly smile. But, there are always a few rotten apples in the bunch. These are not the happy little gnomes you’re used to. These are the rudest garden gnomes we could find.

Mooning Garden Gnomes

This is your chance to have a moonlit garden even during the day. When you or a visitor arrives, these gnomes immediately assume the position. They loosen their belts and drop their trousers to make sure everyone knows what a rude little jerk they are.

Classic Mooning Gnome

classic mooning garden gnome

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The garden has been getting complaints about this little gnome for years. He’s been showing off the dark side of his moon for as long as the other gnomes can remember. It’s gotten to the point that most lawn ornaments just ignore home. He’s really just lashing out for attention.

Loonie Moonie Garden Gnome with Bird Butt

loonie moonie garden gnome

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This bird picked a heck of a spot to perch. I don’t know that I would want my beak anywhere near that close to this guy’s full moon. Also, I would like to point out his shit-eating grin. This dude has absolutely zero shame. It may not be the hero we need, but he’s probably the one we deserve.

Solar Mooning Lady Gnome in Thong

lady mooning gnome in thong

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This is a gardening gal who really knows how to have a good time. In the day time, she shows off her naughty little thong underwear. At night, her butt glows brightly thanks to a built-in solar panel. I’m serious, I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.

Squatting Garden Gnomes

For some gnomes, mooning your visitors isn’t enough. These gnomes are shamelessly squatting in your garden ready to pinch off a little loaf. The good new is garden gnome poop makes an excellent fertilizer.

Gnome on a Toilet w/ Phone

Gnome on a Toilet with Phone

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“Oh, don’t mind me. I’ve just decided to install this toilet here in the middle of your garden.” He’s been sitting on that toilet for months. What could possibly be so interesting on that phone to justify taking a 6 month bathroom break? He’s probably just playing a game.

Classic Squatting Gnome

Classic Squatting Gnome

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Remember the gnome that’s been mooning the garden for years? Well, he has a brother, who is even ruder. This gnome has his pants at his ankles ready to go #2 all over your favorite flowers and fruits. Look at that face – he’s forcing out a big one!

Stinky Squatting Gnome

Stinky Squatting Gnome

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Most gnomes can appreciate the scent of their own brand. This guy is working up something so smelly he has to hold his nose. That doesn’t stop him from having a giant grin on his face while he does it. What’s worse is the way he looks back at you with his cutesy little eyes. Those eyes look more sinister once you see what he’s doing right next to your rose bushes.

Garden Gnomes Flipping the Bird

It’s pretty rude to flick someone off. It’s really rude to immediately flick off every person you meet. These gnomes are happy to stand around your veggies and flowers with their middle fingers proudly raised to anyone who passes.

 

Gnome Flipping Bird w/ GO AWAY sign

Gnome Flipping Bird w/ GO AWAY sign

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Gnomes love to make signs. They usually decorate them with the word ‘Welcome’. This little gnome does not want you to feel welcome, and he has a rather rude way of showing it. The ‘GO AWAY’ sign is mean, but the middle finger and facial expression shows he means business.

Biker Gnome Flipping the Bird

biker gnome flipping bird

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This gnome is so cool he probably didn’t even offend you by flicking you off. Look at him rolling down the seaside on his motorcycle – he’s earned the right to show a middle finger to the world.