Naughty Gnomes – The Garden Just Got Sexier

naughty gnomes

If you’re looking for the typical sweet and innocent garden gnome then you’ve come to the wrong place. These naughty gnomes have no problem letting it all hang out for everyone to see.

Naked Gnome

naughty naked gnome

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Just looks at that cheesy smile. He thinks you’re enjoying this. The funny thing is that this naughty gnome has been rocking this look for a while. Imagine how happy all the other garden gnomes were when his beard finally grew long enough to cover up the beardy gnome in his britches. In the end, I guess he’s not totally naked. The hat, boots, and belt count for something. Right?

Stripper Gnome

naughty stripper gnome

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Even in the daylight, this seductive little gnome can be seen entertaining lawn ornaments of every variety. If she’s not dancing on the pole then she’s grinding on your tomato plants. We think it’s her ‘gnome next door’ look that really gets the other garden gnomes excited. This gnome may look sleazy, but she’s just trying to save up some money for college. I swear.

Perverted Gnome

perverted garden gnome

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This gnome is getting up there in age, and all the other garden gnomes know he’s lost his marbles. It quite obvious; however, that he has not lost his erection. In fact, this little pervert’s trouser mushroom stays solid day after day. No matter when you go to your garden this gnome will be standing there with his unnerving grin, open creeper jacket, and, of course, a boner made just for you. If all of that doesn’t make him the most perverted gnome in the garden, then the naughty little message he wrote for you in the dirt sure does – ‘Say Hello To My Little Friend’.

Sexy and I Gnome It

sexy and I gnome it

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This gnome has absolutely no shame, and that’s what we love the most about him. Look at him – all sprawled out on his rabbit skin rug. Mr. Steal yo girl. The words “I’m sexy and I gnome it!” is the icing on the cake. Not only are you getting one of the naughtiest gnomes in the whole garden, but he comes stock with a terrific pun.

Pimp Gnome

pimp gnome

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Pimpin’ aint easy, and the garden is a whole new kind of grind. By the look of this little guy’s gold chain and a stack of bills, this pimp gnome is coming up in the game. We’re also glad he went with the purple and leopard skin suit – always a classy move. We’re not saying we condone this sort of activity, but we would be lying if we said it didn’t happen.

 

Sexy Pose Gnome

sexy pose gnome

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“Draw me like one of your French girls”, this naughty little gnome whispers from across the garden. Luckily, this gnome has managed to keep his clothes on – for now. The gnome has been lounging about the garden for month ready to spit some game to any gnome that’ll pay him any attention. It’s pretty impressive how his eyes can manage to look both dreamy and totally creepy at the same time. We’re going to be totally honest. We’re not completely sure what’s in that pipe and it’s beginning to smell oddly skunky around here.